


When it rains

by magnaka



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bromance, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, No Slash, Whump, i think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnaka/pseuds/magnaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is Arthur ready to forgive Merlin and what he will do when everything seems to go even worse? </p><p>set after s4. </p><p>Beta CJaneCoulson</p><p>originally published on Fanfiction.net under author name msmhtp</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When it begins

_Betaed by **CJaneCoulson** , my eternal Thanks, really, without you I don't think that I would never have wrote this to its end. Finally._

* * *

_Now..._

When one wakes up in the morning, one can usually know if it whether it will be a good or a bad day. For instance, if Merlin was late, or if the breakfast was half-burnt, or if Guinevere was mad at something he had blurted out the night before and now refused to speak to him, then that would likely be a bad day. However, if Merlin actually remembered to do his job as Arthur's new secretary, if Gwaine wasn't hung-over on the training ground and if Guinevere promised to do some of his jobs that day, then the day would prnobably be more than good-it would be splendid!

Though that never happened though, but one can always hope...

Then there were the days that just seemed doomed from the first. The days where -while nothing happened- the feeling of dread hung over the world until -surprise!- the world abruptly brightened and the day was the perfectly well and good.

Of course, both good and bad days were often able and subject to change. Unfortunately, it was far more common for the good days to turn bad; but occasionally the reverse did happen.

Arthur looked Merlin, then Gwaine. Both of them were covered with blood and dirt. And they smelled. Badly. He looked around him at the half-destroyed remnants of the Great Hall.

"I'm curious, tell me. Please, you can speak freely." There was hint of sarcasm on his tone. The king of Camelot was surprisingly very calm. Too calm.

Merlin moved nervously and glanced at Gwaine. Gwaine looked the great hall and the people.

"I said…" Arthur started.

"It was an accident." Gwaine said quickly, instantly regretting his choice of words when he watched how Arthur's face went blank. Gwen shook her head fast, warningly. Gwaine looked Merlin for help.

"Maybe you should tell him." Gwaine muttered.

"Are you insane? He will kill me." Merlin hissed back, nervous as hell with the whole situation.

"And why Merlin, I would kill you?" Arthur asked icily and Merlin jumped and swallowed, trying to find the right words. Gwaine chose to watch his dirty boots.

"Can we speak more privately?" Merlin asked, hoping, knowing that it was too late. Arthur had seen it. _Seen him!_

"No. We speak here and now. That way everyone can hear your excuses."

The whole audience-including half of the Camelot's knights, the visiting Queen Annis, and what seemed like hundred of nobles and servants-held their breath.

"We are so deep in sh..." Gwaine mumbled and Merlin poked him on the side.

"Maybe if you start from the beginning." Gwen suggested kindly. Merlin looked nervously at her, then Arthur and the again at Gwaine who nodded.

"You have to tell him." Gwaine sighed and Merlin looked like he wanted to run and fast.

"And I call you my friend."

"I am. So is he." Gwaine nodded toward Arthur who frowned. Merlin hesitated, avoiding Arthur's gaze. He looked Gwen.

"Alright. But first, Gwen- _my Queen."_

That form of address startle Guinevere. Merlin never called her his queen. _They were friends!_

"I want your word that while I tell what happened, no one do anything to me or Gwaine; And that after I am finished, you will just let us go."

They stared each other for a few minutes.

"I promise." Gwen said finally, both curious and afraid to hear what had happened. She, like everyone else in the Hall, still couldn't believe what they had witnessed.

"Guine…" Arthur began, but his wife's eyes stopped him.

"He asked me, not you Arthur. And by your own hand, I'm the Queen of Camelot. Remember that. I don't want you to go and kill him." The steel in Gwen's voice startled everyone present.

Arthur never could say no to his wife, so he nodded his agreement. "This had better be a very good explanation." Arthur said as he sat back in his chair after George hoisted it up again.

"Right." Merlin sighed, his eyes seeking Gaius.

Gaius watched him with concern, but also nodded his agreement.

"Right." Merlin repeated. "It started two days ago…"


	2. When the witch comes back

" _It started two days ago, when the rain began…."_

_Then..._

"I just can't believe this." Gwaine watched the sky which was darkening fast.

Merlin also observed the sky with disappointment. They were no further than a two-day journey from Camelot. Until now the sky had been on their side and the sun had been shining all the way. "We have to look for some shelter." His voice was drowned by thunder's peal. "And fast."

"I think there was an abandoned hut nearby." Gwaine said, struggling to control his horse which jumped as lightning split the sky and the rain started.

"Lead the way." Merlin said when Gwaine finally got hold his horse. A half-hour of riding through the heavy rain later,they finally saw the hut. While it was partially in ruins, it offered to them the necessary shelter against the rain and cold. With effort, they got the horses inside and Merlin started to make fire in the small fireplace.

"Luckily, here is some dry wood." He grinned while Gwaine took the gear from the horses.

"I bought some wine from the last inn. I think it's a good time to taste it. The maid said it is really good." Gwaine dug one of his bags.

"Wine? Really? When did you manage to shop?" Merlin laughed and started to search to see if there were any cups.

"Found it. Ah, but first I want these wet clothes off! The fire seems nice. Oh, and you found some cups too." Gwaine was delighted and Merlin started to take off his wet clothes.

"Are there any dry clothes Gwaine?" Merlin asked.

"Merlin."

"Yeah?" He turned around to face the knight.

"I can't move." Gwaine said.

"What?" Merlin watched as Gwaine try to walk but failed to lift his foot up. When Merlin tried to walk towards the knight, he found he also could not move. Some kind of force locked his feet on the floor.

"You too?" Gwaine asked when Merlin nearly fell to the ground.

Merlin nodded. "I can't move my feet."

"Magic?" Gwaine suggested and again Merlin nodded. "I think so."

"What we do? We can't stay like this forever." Gwaine looked at him hopefully. "You always know something when it comes to magic..."

Merlin grimaced. He looked around but couldn't see anything which could hint at what was going on. Before he could figure anything out, the door, which had definitely been locked, opened.

"And what have we here?" A woman's voice crooned from the doorway. "You walked straight into a trap-although this trap wasn't actually meant for you two. But we can't always get what we want, can we."

"You should know that better than anyone else, Morgana." Merlin hissed. He was surprised to see that the witch was actually alive and-seemingly-well.

Morgana walked over to Merlin and touched his cold, pale skin. Kneeling beside him, she whispered, "You have a scar. Just over your heart." she tilted her head and looked into his eyes. "I think you're luckier than I thought. What happened to you?" she wondered.

"It's none of your business." Merlin snapped and Morgana shrugged her shoulders. "And I don't even really care. Last time you were dying when you visited me." Morgana leaned forward and her lips touched lightly Merlin's cheek. Merlin jerked away and tried to retreat, but couldn't move.

"Just get it over with and do what ever you are going to do!" Gwaine snapped. "Are you going to kill us or what?"

Morgana rose from the ground beside Merlin and turned to the knight.

"Still so lively." she remarked. "And to answer your question, I think that I will just leave you two here. No one will find you, you can't leave-in fact, you can't do anything." She turned back to the manservant. "You have been lucky Merlin, but I doubt even you can go against this magic." Morgana smiled at Merlin, who shivered as if from cold.

"What is this Morgana? What have you done?" Merlin demanded.

"Like I'd tell you anything!" Morgana's hand rose and fell across the Merlin's face. He fell and slumped on the ground. When he tried to get up again, he found he couldn't. Morgana smiled and watched how he struggled.

"No, your time in Camelot is over." she mused. "Now, die here with this foolish knight. Curse what is left of your miserable life as you die from lack of food and water." Morgana laughed.

"Morgana…" Gwaine tried to move toward the witch.

"No, my _dear_ knight." she turned back to him. "You both die here. After that, I will send a message to my dear brother-if he isn't already dead by then." Morgana pouted her lips.

"You are planning something." Merlin noted and Morgana smiled.

"Yes. Yes, I am. And, this time, you can't stop me." Her smile fell from her face, and a dark light shone in her eyes. "Because of you, and Arthur, and my cursed father, I lost everything."

"You made your own choices. I tried to help you, but…" Merlin's words were cut off by the kick he was unable to avoid.

"Morgana!" Gwaine roared, watching helplessly as the witch continued to kick Merlin.

"You? Helping me?" she shrieked. "You tried to kill me!" Morgana screamed in anger and her next kick hit Merlin's face.

"Merlin!" Gwaine watched in horror as blood now covered the floor. Another kick and Gwaine heard something breaking.

"Stop! Please!"

Morgana stopped abruptly and returned to face Gwaine, walking front of him.

"Please?" she murmered. "Please, you say?"

"Let us go, Morgana."

She straightened up and an icy mask covered her face. "No."

"Why? Haven't you gotten what you wanted?"

Morgana looked over her shoulder silent and immobile Merlin and a faint smile danced across her face.

"Perhaps." she looked back and the knight. "Good luck to you, Gwaine; though I don't think that you have any luck left."

Morgana passed by him towards the door, and Gwaine stared after her.

"Morgana, I will kill you." he hissed.

Morgana stopped, looking at him the last time, and smiled. "You can always hope so."


	3. When the truth comes out

" _MERLIN!"_

The pain was the worst that he had gone through in long time.

" _Merlin, please, just say something!"_

He couldn't feel anything but pain.

" _Please move! Move your finger, please. Show me that you are alive."_

Everything was so heavy-even his fingers. He tried to open his eyes, but it hurt. It hurt too much.

" _I kill her- I_ will _kill her. Even if I have to cut off my feet so that I can get out of here, I will_ kill _her!"_

The voice was so full of anger. He couldn't understand it-what was wrong?

" _Merlin, please! Merlin. Merlin…"_

Wasn't he angry anymore? Who was it? Was he crying?

"Dn-t cr—y."

Silence.

"Merlin? Merlin, you are awake? Please say you are awake and alive."

"Don't cry." Merlin whispered, the words almost swallowed in the difficulty of speaking and the taste of iron.

"No, I won't cry-I'll never cry, ever again, if you are alive!"

He couldn't move. "Feel..heavy."

"Yes, the spell-Morgana's trap."

"Mor-ga-na?" Merlin repeated the name, slowly. He felt himself saddened when he said the name. _Morgana. The Witch._

"She kicked you in the head-Gods, you are _not_ alright, Merlin."

_My name: Merlin. I'm Merlin. Right, I remember that._

"I don't know how much blood you lost-and you have concussion, I'm sure of it. Maybe you shouldn't move..." Abrupt laughter. "Although, we can't move anyway."

"The spell!" Merlin remembered. "Morgana, the rain-Gwaine?"

"Yes, Gwaine. And you have been out cold for more than five hours, my friend."

"Cold, heavy..." Merlin tried to move his hands and fingers.

"You managed to strip out of your wet clothes before Morgana came, but the fire has already faded and the rain is still falling outside. Even I feel cold..." Gwaine told him, his voice trailing off.

"Morgana, she is planning something..." Merlin's fingers moved a bit. _Good_. Carefully he opened his eyes. "I can't see with my left eye."

Silence-again. Not good...

"The left side of your face is covered with blood, Merlin."

"Oh." Merlin wasn't sure was he relieved or not. It could mean anything.

"Can you move your feet?"

He tried.

"Good. You have to try to get up from that cold floor Merlin."

"Dizzy."

"Try to handle it. Can you rise?"

 _No. Maybe. No._ "Yes?" Merlin ventured.

"You can. You are one of the toughest men I have met."

"You don't know half of it." Merlin sighed staring the floor with his one eye.

_Rise. Rise. You have to rise or you will die._

"Thank gods, you can do it!" Gwaine encouraged him when he watched how Merlin moved his arms and legs. "Up, get up-please."

"Stop repeating that." Merlin was irritated.

"Repeating what?"

"' _Please_ '. It's not _you_." Merlin had managed to rise on all fours.

"I'm just too worried by now to care. And relieved that you are still alive." Gwaine sighed. "Does it hurt?"

"Tell me where it doesn't hurt." Merlin grimaced. "What kind of spell she did? Why can't we move from our places?"

"You are the smart one- you tell me." Gwaine muttered. He observed Merlin's torso. It was bruised all over. The blood seemed to come mostly from the wound in the forehead. Some maybe from the nose. He hoped that Merlin's teeth were alright but he couldn't help but think about what had broken when he heard that terrible sound.

"I read it once." Merlin said.

"Read what?"

"The spell. Revealing spell." Merlin told. To Gwaine, Merlin looked like he was still ready to collapse again anytime soon.

"Spell? What are you talking about?"

But Merlin didn't answer. He rose to his knees and looked around. "There has to be something, something which hold us in here... She's using something enchanted object.-if I can see it, if I can move it or destroy it…"

"You know how we can get out of here?" Gwaine was genially surprised.

Merlin ignored him. "I need something to draw with... The spell-if I remember the pattern..."

"What are you talking about? Merlin? Can you please explain what the hell you're doing?" Gwaine demanded to know but Merlin didn't listened him. Merlin rubbed his forehead's wound.

"Blood-that will do." Again the blood started to flow down his face. Merlin rubbed his hand in his own blood and then started to draw on the floor. Gwaine watched what he was doing, and started to understand.

"Merlin…"

"Shh. I have to do this right. If I do this wrong…"

"Then what?"

"I actually don't know."He looked up for a second and considered, but then went back to work on his drawing. "Maybe nothing. Maybe…" Merlin continued and then looked his work estimating. "That will do. I hope."

"You hope? Merlin…" Gwaine wanted to back off, but he was still glued on the floor. Merlin placed his hand over the odd circle and muttered something. When nothing happened, Gwaine sighed with relief. As he relaxed, a tiny blue light in the corner caught his eye and he groaned.

"On your left side, Merlin."

Merlin turned his head and grinned excitedly when he saw the light.

"Oh! Look, it's a lookstone! Morgana can use it as her eyes, and ears, and mouth-if she knew how, that is." He continued rambling, unaware of the look Gwaine was giving him. "Those are rare things-you usually have to make a deal with the Grey King in order to use one of them. I can only hope that Morgana is only using it as a trap-to make any outsider who came here unable to move."

"Merlin…" Gwaine wasn't sure that this half-naked, pale, skinny man who was his dearest friend even knew what he was rambling on about.

"But, I can break its charm."

"Can you?"

Merlin raised his hand towards the stone. When he grinned his face changed. Added to the blood that covered the left side of his face like a macabre mask, his appearance was as someone who had finally snapped and gone mad.

"Now that I know what it is, I just have to break it." With these words, he closed his hand in a fist. At that moment, the stone exploded and, for a moment, the white light blinded Gwaine. As soon as the light had died down, the knight could feel his freedom; and he jumped to his feet.

"Gwaine…" Merlin began, but halted, suddenly appearing like an aged man.

Finally Gwaine got his voice back. "You have magic."

 

_# Now..._

 

" _You have magic…"_

"So you _have_ magic?" Arthur stood up, looking at his friend in disbelief. Merlin was looking down, but he was standing tall.

"Look at me!" Arthur demanded and Merlin's eyes rose to meet him.

"You promised that you would listen to what we have to tell you." Merlin reminded him.

Arthur shook his head. Was this really his friend? While he looked the same-even dirty and beaten-there was a strange, unknown light in his eyes.

"Let them continue Arthur." Gwen whispered. "I want to know."

Arthur just stared Merlin who stared back and everyone around those two men could feel the power that surrounded them.

"Arthur." Gwen called to him and finally Arthur was able to remove his gaze off and backed off. His voice was cold when he spoke.

"Then, continue, because I really want to know _everything_." He sat back in his seat again.

Gwaine grinned at Merlin.

"Not bad. I though that he would take his sword and run it through you."

"Shut up Gwaine." Merlin sighed and his mind drifted back to their adventure. "It was early night…"


	4. When Gwaine gets some answers

" _It was early night when we got ourselves free…"_

 

_#Then..._

 

Merlin swayed and Gwaine rushed to catch him. Merlin struggled to stand and sounded nearly hysterical.

"We have to go-we have to stop her! If she goes after Arthur again-I have to be there! I have to...!"

Gwaine interrupted him, "You won't do anything before I clean you up. Just by looking at you, I can see you've got a concussion and you can't even stand up on your own! Sit. I'll light up the fire again-but Merlin, will Morgana notice that you destroyed the stone?"

"I don't know-not for sure." Merlin sobered. "And now she is hours ahead of us." Merlin grabbed Gwaine's hand. "We have to go, soon."

"Soon Merlin, I promise. Merlin, can you…can you heal yourself?" Gwaine hesitated to ask, but noticed that Merlin hadn't actually realized that he'd revealed his magic to someone else. Even if it was Gwaine.

"Healing magic, I'm not so good with." Merlin shook his head.

"Then what kind of magic are you good at?" Gwaine started to light the fire.

"I fight. I do tricks. Do you know how many times I have saved Arthur's sorry arse?" Merlin's eye started to close.

Gwaine glanced at him and grinned. "Really?"

"Really. I fight-I fight for him and for sake of the future of this land. And I have lost so much." Merlin's voice quieted down. Gwaine took one of the blankets and wrapped it around Merlin's shoulder.

"Merlin, did you hear me? Look at me, Merlin." Gwaine tried to catch an eye contact.

"Tired." Merlin whispered, his eyes almost closed. Gwaine shook him lightly.

"I know, but I don't think you're alright. I have to clean the wound and you have to rest tonight."

"Can't. Morgana." But Merlin was already lost the battle against the tiredness and Gwaine.

"We come up with something tomorrow." Gwaine promised.

"Tomorrow…"

"I'll watch over you Merlin, I promise."

Merlin's hazy gaze lifted up and watched his friend, "Gwaine?"

"Yes?"

"I have magic."

Silence. Gwaine didn't know if he was going to laugh or cry "I know now. You should have told me sooner."

"Not mad?"

"How I can be. Not ever to you." Gwaine smiled. "Lay and sleep a bit."

"I'm sorry. I'm…a monster." Merlin murmured when his eyes closed and Gwaine flinched.

"How you can say that? Merlin?"

But Merlin had fallen asleep. Gwaine watched him. A monster? How could he think that of himself? Magic or not, Merlin couldn't be any kind of monster. Gwaine got some water and found some clean rags and started to clean Merlin's face and wound. Carefully he studied if there was any broken bones. Some of the fingers on the left hand and maybe one or two ribs were. Gwaine cursed while trying to bandage Merlin as well as he could. While doing so, he watched Merlin. He had never thought about it, but he nad never seen Merlin half naked and he saw how Merlin was covered with scars. Mostly small ones, but there was some bigger ones. A normal man would have been killed by them, but Merlin-Merlin wasn't normal man.

Gwaine felt tired. When he was sure that Merlin was alright, he lay down near the fire and closed his eyes. It didn't take much to fall asleep, but he was awake long before Merlin; and before the sunrise. He quickly prepared a breakfast for them from their remaining foods.

"Gwaine?" Merlin's voice was still weak and Gwaine walked over to his bed and touched Merlin's forehead.

"You have a fever, Merlin. You are burning up."

"We have to go." Merlin tried to get up but Gwaine pushed him back down. "First, let's see your eye, Merlin. I'm bit worried about it."

Like Gwaine suspected, the eye looked dim and it didn't react to light.

"I can't see anything with it." Merlin whispered. Gwaine gnashed his teeth.

"That damn witch."

"I'm sorry."

"Why you are sorry?" Gwaine stood up and walked to fetch the food.

"My magic…"

"Have you killed with your magic?" Gwaine asked suddenly.

"Yes, I have." Merlin's voice was steady.

"Why?" Gwaine turned to look at him to see how Merlin reacted. But-despite his fever, his blind eye and broken bones-Merlin's gaze was steady. He looked so confident, so sure of himself when he answered.

"To protect Arthur mostly; but sometimes also myself, you, or the other knights."

"Who else knows about this? Not Morgana, I see."

"Gaius, my mother, some druids, some-two or three-other magic users, and Lancelot knew."

"Lance knew? He knew, and you didn't tell me?" Gwaine was offended, although he knew it was stupid. He picked up the food angrily.

"I never told him anything. He saw me like you and Gaius did, saving your life." Merlin muttered and Gwaine sighed.

"Right. Merlin, listen me carefully. You, and your magic. It doesn't matter to me. What matters is that I know you." Gwaine placed his hands over Merlin's shoulders. "But why didn't you tell me?"

"Sorry Gwaine. I should have trusted you earlier. But...I was afraid."

"Afraid of what? That how I would react?"

"No, actually." Merlin smiled, but the smile was sad. "It was because everyone who knows me and the truth about me is in danger. I can't-I couldn't…" Merlin's voice died down, he looked away. Now he looked so broken that it hurt to see.

Gwaine stared his friend and then nodded. "Maybe I can understand that reason. Now, eat. And you are right-I hate to admit that-but we have to leave. Even when you are in that state."

"I heal fast." Merlin murmured and Gwaine frowned.

"Your magic?"

"Yes. I'll explain later, if you don't mind." Merlin wasn't ready to answer. He was still tired and sick, probably sicker than what he seemed.

"No, I don't mind-if you promise to answer my questions."

"I promise."

They ate in silence, but the silence was peaceful. They were still friends, whatever may happen. Finally Gwaine stood up and walked over to look out of the small window.

"We could never reach her with a ride. And it's still raining." Merlin walked beside of him, limping, and stared out, then he sighed.

"Oh, that's not the problem. The problem is how to get Kilgharrah to let us both ride with him-and in this weather."

# _Now..._

Arthur truly looked at Merlin this time and he could see how tired he was-he was beyond exhausted.

"How's your eye now?" Gwen asked, her voice hardly a whisper, but Merlin heard it, and he answered equally as quietly.

"I still can't see."

Arthur looked away.

It hurt to know.

It hurt so much that he wanted to run at Merlin, demand him to lay down and let Gaius look after him.

But Arthur was still too proud for that. Instead he asked, "So, who is Kilgharrah?"


	5. When Arthur gets more than he wish

 

_#Then..._

 

They were standing in the rain, Gwaine supporting Merlin.

"What was that?" Gwaine couldn't hide his shaking voice. Merlin swayed a bit, his fever running high. And again they were soaking wet.

"It was a call." Merlin answered, leaning heavily to his friend.

"You have to do that… voice?" Gwaine didn't remembered if he had ever heard anything like that. It wasn't Merlin's own voice, but it still belonged to him. Deep, powerful, commanding tone. "Yes. I have to invite Kilgharrah in his own language. I could send it as a mere thought, but when I say it aloud, it is stronger call. And I really want him here quickly."

"This Kilgharrah; who he is? _What_ he is? Or do I even want to know? You said something about riding and that voice of yours…"

"He is here." Merlin looked suddenly up in the sky. Over the pouring rain Gwaine heard it. Wings. And a roar. First time that day Merlin actually smiled.

"A dragon?" Gwaine whispered, his eyes locked onto the magnificent creature what was landing right under their noses.

 

_#Now..._

 

" _A dragon?"_

Arthur jumped up. Wasn't there an end to this? "Dragon? You said dragon, didn't you? Dragons are dead! I kill-" Then he suddenly realized it. "You lied to me."

"My obligation toward Kilgharrah went over your command that day. And I needed him. He had helped me-helped you…" Merlin's hand raised to rub his eyes.

"Merlin?" Gaius was already moving forward and Gwaine had just reached Merlin when he suddenly began to collapse. The knight lowered his friend gently to the ground.

Arthur couldn't hold it anymore, he run up to his unconscious friend, kneeling beside of him. Merlin was so pale, his chest moving rapidly.

"The fever. It's back." Gwaine said and looked at Gaius.

"He did something to himself?" Gaius asked.

"No, Kilgharrah did-but he warned Merlin that this would happen. Before we left, Kilgharrah used his magic to heal him; but he said that if Merlin did not rest, he would not recover properly. And, being in the middle of all of this, he hasn't been able to rest." Gwaine said, eyeing Arthur.

"So now it will be even harder for him to put this right. This isn't good. If Kilgharrah said…" Gaius sighed.

"You knew?" Arthur looked at him and Gaius' eyes met him.

"There is something that I should tell you."

"You _knew_ about this!"

"Yes, because I helped his father to escape all those years ago."

Arthur stared the old physician, who looked older than ever, hovering over Merlin.

"You helped his father? Gaius, what are you saying? Merlin told that he never even met his father. And what…"

"Not until you and he rode to find him. When you went after the last Dragon Lord, I told Merlin."

Even Gwaine looked surprised when he heard this.

"The last dragon lord…" Arthur couldn't move. He stared Gaius, then Merlin.

"Maybe we should move him to my chamber and then I can…" Gaius suggested.

"No." Arthur denied. "We will hear everything. Here, right now. Even if he…" Arthur watched Merlin.

"Even if this kills him?" Gwaine asked furiously. Arthur looked him frowning.

"I have to know-I want to know! Everyone here wants to know the truth. If I don't hear the whole truth, how I can trust him?" And he wanted to trust Merlin. Merlin was his friend. Or was he? He wanted to know. He wanted it so badly.

"I see. I need some of my medicines though if we want to keep him alive. Emlyn! Go and…" Gaius started to list what he needed to his new apprentice. Arthur leaned forward, took hold of Merlin's hand.

"You dare die now, Merlin, you dare and I-don't leave me behind, you hear me? I want the truth from you. I want to know that there is reason behind of all this. You said that you have saved me? If that's the truth, even when you have magic… The law, Merlin, the law you stupid idiot! You should have told me." Arthur whispered and, kneeling beside him, Gwaine patted him on the shoulder.

"I know how you feel. Trust me. But it was because the law. He couldn't tell you because of the law! What would you have done then? You are the king, Arthur. You are the law of Camelot. And now you have judge him."

"And that's why I want hear it all, while everyone is here." Arthur looked at Gwaine.

"Then maybe I should tell about his father a bit." Gaius said. "And, maybe you have to hear the truth about your own mother."

"My mother?" Arthur didn't understand what Gaius meant.

"If you want the whole truth, we must begin with what your mother and your father did."

"You are saying…" Arthur remembered the time when he though he had saw his mother's ghost. Gaius nodded.

"What Morgause told then, it was the truth. But maybe I should start from the start. The whole story, even Merlin hadn't heard it all. But the whole story is long so I'll just simplify it." Gaius looked up from Merlin, looked the people around them.

"Here still are those who remember the time before magic was outlawed. And here are those who remember Balinor Ambrosius, The Great Dragon Lord who helped Uther to conquer Camelot. The cousin of Ygraine de Bois. You know, it was actually Balinor who first introduced Ygrain to Uther. Balinor loved your mother, but after Ygraine met Uther, Balinor left. Then it became clear that Ygrain couldn't have any children, an heir to the crown. So Uther asked help from Nimueh, the high priestess of Old Religion and Nimueh did what Uther asked but never told what would be the price. And it was your mother's life. Life for life; a very simple rule.

Although later it was Nimueh's life what saved yours. But that's the tale what you have to ask from Merlin. And, that day when Uther learned what Nimueh was done, his anger exceeded everything we had experienced. In those days died many innocent. You know these things Arthur. But, then Uther came up a plan to destroy all the dragons and the dragon lords. Balinor wanted to believe that Uther was regretting what he had done so he agreed to help. It was a trap. And then, only Balinor and Kilgharrah were left. Kilgharrah; captured under Camelot, and Balinor; who I helped to escape. He went to Ealdor because I asked my stepsister Hunith to hide him. I though, that out of Camelot Balinor would be safe.

 

But Uther became aware that Balinor was alive, and again Balinor left, not knowing that Hunith would bears his child. After those days I never contact with her properly. I got to know that Hunith had a son, but she never told that Merlin's father was Balinor. We all protect each other, not saying anything. Then Hunith sent Merlin to me. Merlin's magical powers, his inborn strength grew and is still growing. I thought it as impossible, but Merlin, on the first day, before I even saw him, he saved my life here in Camelot. And I realized who Merlin was; who he would be. And Kilgharrah helped Merlin to accept his destiny. Merlin's destiny to help you, Arthur Pendragon, to be a king who would unite the Albion and then Merlin could bring the magic back to these lands. Merlin really hated you Arthur, but he was able to overcome that, and he learned to see who you really are. So many times he had been ready to die for you Arthur; not all because your or his own destiny, but because you are his friend. He believe you, he though you so highly that it goes so beyond everything. And when he though likes that, it comes like this." Gaius looked at Merlin.

Arthur closed his eyes. He was out of words. Gaius took his stuffs from Emlyn and started quickly to produce medicine and same time he continued.

"Merlin had done so many mistakes, even grave ones, and has cost them highly. He set Kilgharrah free. There is lot of reasons to that; one of them was because he had to save you. Then you went after Balinor and then, he lost his father and inherited his power. But he couldn't kill Kilgharrah. He was lost too much and Kilgharrah was his kin. Both of them are very alike. They both last of their kinds. And Kilgharrah has saved Merlin many times after that day."

"Why Merlin stopped me?" Arthur asked. "That day when my mother…"

"You were ready to kill your own father Arthur. Merlin never wanted to see you coming like your own father. He always wanted you to be more, so much more than Uther. That day Merlin would have reveal everything, but in what price. He didn't want to be a new Nimueh. And sometimes, Merlin just is too kind to his own good."

"And no one ever told anything. What my father did… And what I have done…"

Gaius shook his head. "Because Uther showed how far he was ready to go, everyone here was afraid. They still are. Those days… They are long gone but the memory is still alive. And the new generation, they have learned to hate or fear Camelot and its King."

"I'm not my father!"

"No. But there is still the law, and you are the law. Most of the people in this town know you Arthur. But outside of these walls, there is lot more people. They just see you faraway, hear some rumours. They experience everything through other nobbles and knights. Your public image is good, but you still are your father's son front of many people. You still have long walk ahead, although you do good job." Gwaine snorted. Arthur looked the knight.

"Maybe you should tell the rest now."

"Not satisfied yet? You are still ready to leave Merlin in this cold floor?"

"I want the whole truth," Arthur tried to stay calm. He was still angry, even more angry than before. But he couldn't say was he actually angry to Merlin or to his dead father or to this whole stupid situation. "I want to know what Morgana was doing here, and what she said about Merlin… I want to know. You just have to tell everything."

"You really are bastard sometimes, _your majesty_."

Arthur flinched. "Get over it Gwaine." They stared each other and finally Gwaine gave up. He sighed and Arthur felt relief. If Gwaine would have given up, Arthur would probably take back his decision.

"Right, so, I saw that dragon, Kilgharrah…"


	6. When Gaius can't do anything

_#Then..._

 

"Kilgharrah, meet Gwaine. Gwaine, this is Kilgharrah."

Gwaine opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Are you alright, Gwaine?" Merlin asked, obviously amused.

Gwaine got his voice back. "It's a dragon. Merlin, it's a bloody _dragon_!"

"I'm well aware that I'm a dragon, and you are the knight of Camelot." Kilgharrah spoke looking at Gwaine with hint of amusement.

"And it speaks." Gwaine noted. Kilgharrah turned to watch Merlin who withdrew from Gwaine's hold and stepped forward. He bowed politely.

"I'm glad you came."

"And you young one, I see that you have got yourself in the trouble again." Kilgharrah's tone was admonishing. Gwaine wanted to reach his hand and grab Merlin back beside of him, but he was afraid what the dragon would do then.

"We met Morgana. I think she's gone and made some sort of contract with the Grey King."

Kilgharrah growled and made Gwaine to flinch. "She is a fool if she had done so. The Grey King is the cunning creature, that I know-and whatever he does, the goal is for his own benefit."

"We have always known that Morgana will do whatever its take to get revenge."

"I don't understand. Uther is dead; he was the only one to blame. She would be one of the greatest witches in these lands if she wants. She could be a high priestess of old Religion-a seer that could protect the whole Albion. She could stand by her brother's side."

"Hate has blinded her. She took a wrong turn-and that's also my fault." Merlin sounded disappointed.

"How that can be?" Gwaine asked, not fully understanding what was going on.

"I tried to help her. I knew about her magic when she was still weak, but Morgause came along and all went wrong. She didn't want to believe me. I made some mistakes, I thought…"

Kilgharrah interrupted him. "Let that be Merlin. Now she is your enemy-and it looks like she tried to kill you again. Come closer; I will heal you. I assume that you want to ride."

"We would value it." Merlin stepped right under the dragon's nose and Kilgharrah lowered his head. They touched, Merlin's hand to the dragon's snout.

"We? You mean you and that knight? I would take you but…"

"Do I have to command you?" Merlin's voice was weak, but Gwaine could hear how serious he was.

"You are my Lord, if you command I do what you want." Kilgharrah answered and Merlin sighed.

"I don't want to command you, so I just ask; will you take us to Camelot?"

"I can never deny you, even when you just ask." Kilgharrah murmured and breathed out. The warmness surrounded them. For a moment Gwaine though that the rain was stopped, but it was just a dragon's breathe what burned the water away.

"Much better, thank you my friend." Merlin thanked and Kilgharrah snorted. "You are as much of fool that Morgana. You don't think enough for your own good."

"Merlin? Are you alright?" Gwaine asked, watching how Merlin took deep breath and straightened up.

"Dragon's breath can burn or heal." Merlin answered. Kilgharrah moved angrily behind him.

"You are not well yet. You should rest or the consequences will be bad."

"I can't rest, not now." Merlin snapped and Kilgharrah snorted again.

"I know that, but I have warned you. Promise me that you will rest when you can." The dragon demanded.

"I will promise that. Now, we are in a hurry. Take us to near the Camelot. Or, if you can locate that witch…"

"Gladly." Kilgharrah's grin made chills go through Gwaine's back.

"Is this really good idea?" He asked.

"Absolutely. You love it." Merlin grinned and so they ride with the dragon.

 

_#Now..._

 

"And so we ride with the dragon, over the clouds." Gwaine stopped and took deep breath. "I have never, _ever_ been afraid so much. And Merlin, he just laughed. He _loves_ it. He really loves to be there, high in the sky, being free and feel the wind. And I-I _hate_ it. Never again. _Never_." Gwaine said and Arthur could see the fear when the knight though the fly.

"His breathing is slowed down." Gaius said suddenly.

"What?" They turned to watch Merlin and Gaius who was leaning over his ward. "Merlin, can you hear me?"

"Gaius, what is happening?" Arthur demanded to know but Gaius didn't answer. He was rubbing Merlin's chest.

"Oh gods, Merlin, you have to breath. Emlyn! Make the mixture. Little bit of belladonna and…

"Gaius!"

"Let him do his work." Gwaine stopped Arthur and suddenly Gwen was holding her husband.

"Drink it Merlin, you have to drink it and breath!" Gaius felt Merlin's skin. "He's burning. The medicine I made to bring the fever down isn't working... Emlyn, give me that bottle. Hurry!"

Then suddenly Merlin's eyes opened and he grabbed Gaius' hand and drew him closer. Everyone startled.

"Gaius…" Merlin looked his mentor, his hand squeezed Gaius' hand painfully, but Gaius didn't felt it. "It will be… alright… I… promise…"

"Merlin…"

But Merlin's eyes closed, his mouth snapped shut with pain and he convulsed. Gaius tried to hold him when Merlin suddenly stopped and slumped limp.

"Merlin? No, no, don't do this to me." Gaius cried, shaking Merlin, but the young man was still. Too still and his weight drew Gaius with him.

It took several seconds, maybe even minutes, before anyone moved.

"Gaius?" Gwen kneeled other side of Merlin and Gaius shook his head, not looking his queen, his eyes locked on Merlin. "I couldn't do anything for him. I couldn't…"

Gwen felt tears flowing out when she touched Merlin. Suddenly he felt so cold. She tried to find pulse. Nothing; there was nothing.

"Is he… Is he dead?" Gwaine asked. His voice so tiny middle of the crowd whose barely dared to breathe.

"Yes. He is dead." Gaius answered and lowered his head on Merlin's chest crying. Arthur stumbled up.

"Arthur?" Gwen looked him worriedly.

"I killed him. I killed him." Arthur muttered and turned. He watched the people around them. "Out! Get out of here! Everyone! OUT!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why I always end to kill Merlin? I wonder...


End file.
